My Daughter Wore a Skirt to School and Was Called a Slut

When I picked my daughter up from school Friday afternoon I could immediately tell that something was wrong.  She walked hurriedly to the car, looking down at her feet the entire time.  As soon as the car door closed, tears welled up in her eyes.  “Mom, why do high school boys have to be so mean?” she asked. 

You see, my daughter wore a jean skirt to school that day and was called a slut. 

To be fair, yes, this skirt was above the knee and was shorter than anything she has worn in the past.  However, this skirt was also clearly below her fingertips and met the “post-it note” rule that my daughter’s school embraces.  As a young woman who strives to dress modestly and to always follow the rules, my daughter had even sought the opinion of her dad and I the night before.  Both of us agreed the skirt was fine, so we didn’t think twice when she left the house Friday morning in her jean skirt, t-shirt, and Vans. 

Therefore, when my daughter got in the car and I heard some of the comments that she endured on Friday, I was honestly shocked.  This is the same fourteen-year-old girl who has never worn a two-piece bathing suit, refuses to text boys first, and has never even had a boyfriend!  Her standards of modesty and purity exceed anything that her dad and I could ever enforce…she understands the gift of sexuality and purposely plans to abstain for these behaviors until marriage.  There are lots of adjectives that can be used to describe my daughter, but “slut” definitely isn’t one of them! 

My immediate “mom reaction” was to bash these young men and to defend my daughter.  However, as I reflected over this situation, God softened my heart and opened my eyes to a bigger issue.  You see, I am also the mom of a son that is quickly approaching puberty.  He is just starting to catch the sexist jokes on TV and take notice when we walk past Victoria’s Secret in the mall.  I have prayed over my son’s purity and done my best to equip him for the world ahead, but, the truth is, I have no guarantees that it will not be my son who makes some stupid comment to a girl wearing a skirt one day.  That thought has plagued me throughout the weekend. 

Overall, the church does a great job promoting modesty and purity to our girls.  However, these girls are not only being charged with their own purity but are also indirectly being saddled with purity of our boys.  I acknowledge that boys are visually stimulated, and I definitely do not believe that girls (of any age) should do anything to purposely draw these boys into sexual temptation.  However, as the mother of both a son and a daughter, there cannot be room for excuses from either gender when it comes to sexual purity.  Just as girls have a choice in the clothes they wear, boys have a choice in the actions they perform.  Feeling visually stimulated should never be an excuse to respond socially crude…just because they see it and even though they may feel it, does not mean that they have to respond to it!  As my son approaches puberty, I am honesty not sure how to best instill this principle; however, I believe it is paramount.   We can’t raise men by allowing them to “wimp out” on their sexuality or hide behind the flaws of their female counterparts.  As my momma always said, “Two wrongs don’t make a right”. 

My daughter left the house Friday morning feeling confident…both in her clothes and in herself.  However, all it took was one jean skirt and a four-letter word to make her question her values and her modesty.  As I continue to fight in the trenches for my children’s sexual purity, I am thankful for experiences like Friday and the lessons they teach me.  It reminded me that our boys not only need to seek purity for their heart and body  but also for their actions, and the measure of a young girl’s modesty is more accurately determined by the values of her heart than the length of her skirt. 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s